Last night, I slept with Harry Styles. I don’t mean to brag or anything, but, like all things Harry, it deserves an honourable mention. He was attentive, soothing, very focussed and just generally lovely. We started out in a field of heather with the smell of cedarwood all around us. I could also smell Harry’s perfume collab with Gucci, but, I digress. Harry told me to lie down and so, naturally, I did. He softly encouraged me to close my eyes and breathe in the scents of everything around me. When it was time, he said to open my eyes and look up at the stars shimmering through a blanket of dark. He spoke lovingly, patiently, calmly.
The next thing I knew we were rising with the dawn as beautiful music, seemingly from the heavens, continued to play. Everything was sun dappled and golden and, yet, shaded as we were surrounded by a grove of trees. I could feel Harry looking right into my eyes and telling me that there was nowhere to be except right here and right now. It was beautiful, present, fulfilling. Like a long and luxurious drink of water after a very hot and dry spell.
Somehow, from the valley, we ended up back in the city; a city at the very least. It was a nameless and beautiful city probably somewhere in Europe. It was raining and we could hear the clop of our very chic and black driving loafers as they made contact with the wet pavement. Yet, we meandered along, no umbrella and seemingly impervious to the rain. And Harry kept talking. He was tireless but not incessant; calm and yet not a drone. I could have happily listened to him soothe me and whisper in my ear forever. The heavenly music played on and we wandered on, arms linked and untouched by the rain. And then Harry and I…..well, I don’t know. I kind of lost track of Harry as I fell asleep. A dreamless and healing sleep that I woke up from feeling rested and calm, just as Harry intended me to be.
I know what you’re thinking as I’ve thought it too: Harry’s a musician. A real love ’em and leave ’em kind of guy. He has left a trail of women (and perhaps some men too) behind him, but, that’s just not the Harry I know. The Harry I know is loving, attentive, soothing and faithful. He’ll back tonight. He may even be back by this afternoon because all I would need to do is pull out my phone, open the Calm app and select the sleep story with Harry Styles. What did you think I meant? That I actually slept with Harry Styles?! You flatter me! Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely would sleep with Harry Styles, but I am not Taylor Swift or Kendall Jenner — not by a long shot — and so I did not ‘sleep’ with Harry Styles but I was lulled to sleep by him and the phone was in my bed all night so, by some factor of logic, I slept with Harry Styles and that’s all I’m going to have to say about that.
Putting Harry and my slightly creepy fantasies aside for a moment, Harry via Calm provided me with a truly lovely experience. Harry and his surprisingly sexy speaking voice were all a part of it, yes, but, in the light of my actual day, I realize it wasn’t the attention I was receiving ‘from Harry’ which was so lovely. While that was super calming and soothing and gentle; it was the time and attention I was receiving from myself that were the things. It was how vulnerable I was allowing myself to be. I was allowing myself to take time for myself. I was allowing myself, even in the form of something inanimate (I am not completely delusional and am, at least sort of aware, Harry wasn’t really there) to be cared for, soothed and loved.
In all seriousness, it wasn’t love being extended to me ‘by Harry’, it was love I was extending to myself, using a meditation app and a celebrity’s voice as the vehicle for that love, that was so soothing and healing. And, you know what, as far as meditation goes, I’m realizing whatever works is the name of the meditation game. I wrote about my ongoing relationship with meditation last week, it’s peaks and its valleys, and how there is this ongoing dialogue between me and the Universe as meditation is the means by which I can try to keep my sense of centre and equilibrium in a massively topsy turvy time.
So, I guess the moral of this story and my romp with Harry Styles is that, whether we find peace on our patio, on our bike, on a car ride; listening to a celebrity soothe us to sleep, whatever, we need to take peace where we can find it. We need to, as Reverend Wintley Phipps tells us, be engaged in ongoing prayer and meditation punctuated by activity. Harry Styles was my prayer last night and he may be again tonight. In between, writing this piece was a meditation, actual meditation will be a meditation. What allows us to stay in the space of now, to extend love and care to ourselves so we can have the sight to see that we are always propped up and supported by an ever loving universe can take infinite number of forms as there is nothing finite under the sun. And, sometimes, when we are really and truly very lucky, one of those forms is sleeping with Harry Styles.